Domestic violence/abuse
What is Domestic violence/abuse?
Domestic violence/abuse is verbal, physical, sexual, financial or psychological violence within a family or intimate relationship.
Domestic violence/abuse is about control and having power over the other person. Perpetrators are not usually sick but have learned how to manipulate others with certain techniques and behaviours that allow them to remain dominant and in control.
An abuser will often restrict what his partner can do, such as not allowing them to see friends and family, not allowing them to have a job. This effectively cuts off the person's support systems, isolates them and creates a dependency on the perpetrator. Abusers can also limit the person's access to bank accounts or credit cards thereby taking away their financial independence.
Perpetrators may constantly belittle, criticize and humiliate their partners. This can cause the person to feel worthless, unattractive and stupid which can lead to low confidence and self-esteem. The person may therefore feel that they deserve this treatment and it can cause further dependency as they may have been made to feel that nobody else would want to be in a relationship with them.
How common is domestic violence/abuse?
A least 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men will experience domestic violence/abuse in their lives. In the UK, two women each week are murdered by a partner or ex- partner.
Who can experience domestic violence/abuse?
Domestic violence/abuse can occur in a range of relationships including heterosexual, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender.The majority of victims are women and children.Domestic violence/abuse can occur regardless of ethnicity, class, age, religion, sexuality, gender, disability or lifestyle.
Who perpetrates domestic violence/abuse?
Abusers come from all walks of life: any ethnic group, class, age, gender, sexuality, religion, disability or lifestyle.
What is the cause of domestic violence/abuse?
Abusers behave violently in order to gain control and get what they want. Their behaviour may be due to a sense of entitlement which is often supported by sexist, racist, homophobic and other discriminatory attitudes.
Why doesn't the victim leave?
The risks involved in staying in an abusive relationship may be very high and simply leaving the relationship does not necessarily mean that the violence will stop. In fact, the period when a victim is planning or making their exit, is often the most dangerous time for them and any children involved.
Abusers may violently assault, and then minutes later apologise for their actions. Many will buy gifts of flowers, chocolates and other presents in order to elicit forgiveness from their partner which creates a very confusing environment for the partner. Abusers may say they will never harm their partners again, and promise to obtain help or counselling. Often, these promises are only made to prevent victims from leaving. Without getting help, the violence will most likely recur.
What are the effects of domestic violence/abuse on children and other people?
Domestic violence affects not only the victim, but family members, friends, and the wider community. Children who witness domestic violence are victims themselves and witnessing violence can predispose them to social and physical problems. Constant exposure to violence at home and abusive role models teaches these that violence is a normal way of life and places them at risk of becoming society's next generation of victims and abusers.
When there are children in the household, the majority witness the violence that is occurring, and in 80% of cases, they are in the same or the next room. In about half of all domestic violence situations, the children are also being directly abused themselves.
Who is responsible for domestic violence/abuse?
The abuser is responsible and have a choice of whether or not to use violence.
Sexual ‘Violence’ within Domestic Abuse
Sexual violence includes a range of behaviours including sexual assault and/or rape.
Sexual abuse is a component of domestic violence. For example, partners and former partners may use force, threats or intimidation to engage in sexual activity. They may taunt or use degrading treatment related to sexuality, force the use of pornography, or force their partners to have sex with other people. Rape and sexual assault are crimes, whether or not they occur within marriage, between partners or ex-partners. Sometimes abusers will refuse to engage sexually to intimidate and humiliate their partner, or will use loving and tender behaviours to ‘make up’ after violence or aggression.
Do CSVSS work with victims of domestic abuse?
Sexual violence is a component of domestic abuse but often the victim is unaware that this is happening. If you are in an abusive relationship and think, or are unsure, that sexual violence is occurring then see our page on What is sexual violence? for more information. CSVSS can support you via our telephone line or face to face counselling with any issues you wish to discuss. If necessary we can signpost you to alternative services if we feel these may be more appropriate.
Who else can I talk to?
If you feel that you may be a victim of domestic violence then please see the Useful links page where there are contact details for local Domestic violence/abuse services.
Below are leaflets on how to get help with Domestic Abuse both in English and Welsh. Although the leaflets focus on issues faced by black and minority ethnic women and children, it also contains information which can be used to help victims of domestic and sexual violence from any nationality or ethnic background. We also have leaflets in Arabic, Bengali, Farsi, French, Gujarati, Hindi, Pashto, Punjabi, Somali, Turkish and Urdu so please contact us if you would like a leaflet in any of these languages.
Domestic violence/abuse is verbal, physical, sexual, financial or psychological violence within a family or intimate relationship.
Domestic violence/abuse is about control and having power over the other person. Perpetrators are not usually sick but have learned how to manipulate others with certain techniques and behaviours that allow them to remain dominant and in control.
An abuser will often restrict what his partner can do, such as not allowing them to see friends and family, not allowing them to have a job. This effectively cuts off the person's support systems, isolates them and creates a dependency on the perpetrator. Abusers can also limit the person's access to bank accounts or credit cards thereby taking away their financial independence.
Perpetrators may constantly belittle, criticize and humiliate their partners. This can cause the person to feel worthless, unattractive and stupid which can lead to low confidence and self-esteem. The person may therefore feel that they deserve this treatment and it can cause further dependency as they may have been made to feel that nobody else would want to be in a relationship with them.
How common is domestic violence/abuse?
A least 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men will experience domestic violence/abuse in their lives. In the UK, two women each week are murdered by a partner or ex- partner.
Who can experience domestic violence/abuse?
Domestic violence/abuse can occur in a range of relationships including heterosexual, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender.The majority of victims are women and children.Domestic violence/abuse can occur regardless of ethnicity, class, age, religion, sexuality, gender, disability or lifestyle.
Who perpetrates domestic violence/abuse?
Abusers come from all walks of life: any ethnic group, class, age, gender, sexuality, religion, disability or lifestyle.
What is the cause of domestic violence/abuse?
Abusers behave violently in order to gain control and get what they want. Their behaviour may be due to a sense of entitlement which is often supported by sexist, racist, homophobic and other discriminatory attitudes.
Why doesn't the victim leave?
The risks involved in staying in an abusive relationship may be very high and simply leaving the relationship does not necessarily mean that the violence will stop. In fact, the period when a victim is planning or making their exit, is often the most dangerous time for them and any children involved.
Abusers may violently assault, and then minutes later apologise for their actions. Many will buy gifts of flowers, chocolates and other presents in order to elicit forgiveness from their partner which creates a very confusing environment for the partner. Abusers may say they will never harm their partners again, and promise to obtain help or counselling. Often, these promises are only made to prevent victims from leaving. Without getting help, the violence will most likely recur.
What are the effects of domestic violence/abuse on children and other people?
Domestic violence affects not only the victim, but family members, friends, and the wider community. Children who witness domestic violence are victims themselves and witnessing violence can predispose them to social and physical problems. Constant exposure to violence at home and abusive role models teaches these that violence is a normal way of life and places them at risk of becoming society's next generation of victims and abusers.
When there are children in the household, the majority witness the violence that is occurring, and in 80% of cases, they are in the same or the next room. In about half of all domestic violence situations, the children are also being directly abused themselves.
Who is responsible for domestic violence/abuse?
The abuser is responsible and have a choice of whether or not to use violence.
Sexual ‘Violence’ within Domestic Abuse
Sexual violence includes a range of behaviours including sexual assault and/or rape.
Sexual abuse is a component of domestic violence. For example, partners and former partners may use force, threats or intimidation to engage in sexual activity. They may taunt or use degrading treatment related to sexuality, force the use of pornography, or force their partners to have sex with other people. Rape and sexual assault are crimes, whether or not they occur within marriage, between partners or ex-partners. Sometimes abusers will refuse to engage sexually to intimidate and humiliate their partner, or will use loving and tender behaviours to ‘make up’ after violence or aggression.
Do CSVSS work with victims of domestic abuse?
Sexual violence is a component of domestic abuse but often the victim is unaware that this is happening. If you are in an abusive relationship and think, or are unsure, that sexual violence is occurring then see our page on What is sexual violence? for more information. CSVSS can support you via our telephone line or face to face counselling with any issues you wish to discuss. If necessary we can signpost you to alternative services if we feel these may be more appropriate.
Who else can I talk to?
If you feel that you may be a victim of domestic violence then please see the Useful links page where there are contact details for local Domestic violence/abuse services.
Below are leaflets on how to get help with Domestic Abuse both in English and Welsh. Although the leaflets focus on issues faced by black and minority ethnic women and children, it also contains information which can be used to help victims of domestic and sexual violence from any nationality or ethnic background. We also have leaflets in Arabic, Bengali, Farsi, French, Gujarati, Hindi, Pashto, Punjabi, Somali, Turkish and Urdu so please contact us if you would like a leaflet in any of these languages.
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