Myths about rape
The myth: Rape is a sexual crime.
The reality: Rape is a crime of power and violence and is used to suppress and dominate women, children and other men.
The myth: Rape only happens to attractive women.
The reality: Rapists choose their victims without regard to physical appearance. Rape can happen to babies who are a few months old and to women who are over 80.
The myth: She asked for it.
The reality: Rape is an act of violence and humiliation. Many rapes are partially planned beforehand by the rapist.
The myth: She led him on/she wanted it really.
The reality: Women do not enjoy being threatened, beaten or being afraid for their lives.
The myth: She was dressed like a tart.
The reality: Women do not dress deliberately to be humiliated or hurt. No matter what a woman wears, she does not deserve to be raped.
The myth: Prostitutes can't get raped.
The reality: Any woman who is forced into a sexual act against her will is being abused.
The myth: She changed her mind.
The reality: If a woman changes her mind and the man continues the act, that is rape.
The myth: Rape only happens at night/in the dark/women are raped by strangers.
The reality: Rape can happen at any time to any woman regardless of age, class or race. Most women are not raped by a stranger but by a man that they know or who knows them.
The myth: Rapists are psychologically damaged/drunk.
The reality: Less than 4% of convicted rapists are referred for psychiatric treatment. Being drunk is an excuse used to take responsibility away from the rapist.
The myth: Men have stronger biological urges than women/men can’t help it.
The reality: Men do not have uncontrollable urges. There is no scientific evidence to suggest that men have stronger sexual drives than women. Rape is frequently pre-meditated and is not a spontaneous response to urges.
The myth: If she’d really wanted to stop him, she could have.
The reality: At the time a women will act in the best way she can in order to save her life.
The myth: She wasn’t hurt, what’s the problem, it wasn’t rape.
The reality: If a man forces a woman to have sexual intercourse with him, regardless of whether or not he beats her or inflicts other physical injuries, this is rape.
The myth: I bought her dinner/a car/I gave her the housekeeping money.
The reality: A woman has the right to determine her own sexual behaviour and the right to choose her sexual partners freely. A man does not own the rights to a woman’s sexuality.
The myth: She’s my wife.
The reality: Rape is a crime even when it takes place within a marriage.
The myth: She enjoyed it/everyone knows women fantasise about rape.
The reality: In fantasy women have complete control, there is no pain, no reality and no consequences. Rape is an act of violence causing physical and psychological scars. In rape, the rapist has complete control over the woman.
The myth: She wasn’t a virgin so she can’t have been raped.
The reality: It makes no difference whether or not a woman has previously had sexual intercourse, she still has the right to choose who she has sexual intercourse with.
The myth: A woman out alone deserves to be raped.
The reality: A woman out alone is entitled to be safe and independent and have the freedom that any human being is entitled to.
The myth: If a woman isn’t hysterical after being raped then she isn’t telling the truth.
The reality: Everybody reacts differently to a traumatic situation, some women may appear very distressed after being raped, some may not.
The myth: If a woman doesn’t go to the police after being raped she is letting the rapist go on to rape someone else.
The reality: It is not the responsibility of the woman to stop the rapist, it is the responsibility of the man not to rape. There are many reasons why women don’t report the crime for example: she may know her attacker, she may have been threatened, she may feel no one will believe her.
The myth: It isn’t as bad if a husband, boyfriend or partner rapes a woman.
The reality: If a woman is raped by someone known to her, who she trusts, the effects can be worse and can make her question her judgement and make it difficult to trust other people.
The myth: Women cry rape for revenge.
The reality: The amount of false allegations of rape is the same as for any other crime – less than 2%.
The myth: Women say no but they mean yes
The reality: If a woman has said no, she means no.
